Last month I blogged about letting go of stuff around the house (kitchen stuff, toiletries, beds, etc.) But today it gets more personal. Actually, I find that the harder stuff to let go of is intangible. I’ve led much of my life trying to be successful – even successful at decluttering my belongings.
So…, what’s the toughest thing for me to let go of? – Being Right and being better than others!
I grew up in a pretty stable, loving, family, with enough income to be comfortable. In hindsight, I did not earn any of these advantages. I was privileged, healthy, smart, and white. These are not bad things, but I don’t deserve credit for any of them. I was lucky. Sure, I worked hard at school and my jobs but I had a lot of support and natural talent.
Recently I had an eye-opening experience, however, that forced me to take a second look at my “success.”
I was exercising at our local Planet Fitness gym. I looked around me and saw a woman who was very overweight. Actually, in my mind I just thought, “She’s really fat!” I started to feel self-righteous. I’m in pretty good physical shape. I bike regularly, eat healthy, and here I was taking care of my body by joining a fitness club. I looked down on the fat lady near me. BUT…then I stopped to think. “Hey, I’m just doing this to stay fit. How much harder must it be for someone who is visibly overweight to swallow their pride and make the effort to change, to improve. I was just trying to maintain my strength. I lookd at some of the other people in the fitness center 
and realized that some were making a bigger sacrifice, a more humbling action than I was. I needed to stop being judgmental and start to admire them.
Sure, my weekly exercise was good, but I was just maintaining a lifetime of healthy habits, I had a free membership because of being over 60 plus I didn’t have to overcome bad history, habits, or health. The “fat” lady was working to improve herself. I was just working to maintain my status quo. I am not better than her, perhaps just luckier.
Of course, all of us humans have our faults, our imperfections. As I was trying to come to peace with my unfair judgementalism, I remembered some minor mistakes that I had recently made. I put something in our compost pile that was a mistake. I also forgot my jacket at a dance I attended. Add that to increasing memory lapses, and I start to feel bad about myself. Hey! As I work to be less judgmental of others, maybe the Spirit is alerting me that I am imperfect also. I am not better than others. No one is. We all have our challenges, lapses, mistakes. Just as I am learning to be less judgmental of others, I need to accept my own imperfections and turn a loving eye not only to others but also to myself. We’re all in this murky, mixed-up, sometimes unfair world together.
So, my Planet Fitness experience helped me love and honor another human being more. Which eventually helped me notice my own imperfections, which then, eventually, helped me realize that we are all imperfect, but we are all worthy of love. Perhaps it begins with trying to let go of judging others and loving them faults and all – because I too am imperfect but still need to love generously.
WAITING: As Christians approach the season of Advent – the season of waiting again for Christ to be born – I am reminded about how hard it often is to wait. For birthdays, for your beloved to return home, for a healing. Yet, I remember that waiting for something important to happen is part of the joy when the special day, special person, arrives. The old trope, “Absence makes the waiting for heart grow fonder” may seem unduly romantic but there is something about waiting for a good thing to happen that makes it more precious. We may not like the waiting, but if every day were your birthday, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Sooo, waiting for Christmas multiplies the joy.
