While we’re on a costume theme, I thought you’d enjoy the two dresses I donated to our local contra dance dress swap. As you may know, contra dancing is a form of folk dancing that has some similarities to square dancing except we don’t dance in squares or wear costumes, i.e. skirts over petticoats for women and string ties for men. Our kids, however, always claimed that there really are “contra costumes” in that people wear a lot of weird clothes that would never pass the fashion police. In addition to white socks with dress shoes and dresses for women, a few men occasionally wear skirts as a counter cultural statement of boldness.
When I handed over my two dresses as my donation to the dress swap, I explained to the hostess that I’d like to take a photo for my blog. She readily held one up in front of her and wrapped the pink wrap-around skirt around her nearby gentleman friend. He graciously obliged but I wonder what I’ll owe my reluctant model.
Living Lightly
Susan Vogt on living more simply but abundantlyBrowsing Posts published by Susan Vogt
Since it’s Halloween, I’m taking a break from giving away my kids regular clothes and rummaged through our old “costume box” to see if I really needed to save all the stuff for a grandchild who doesn’t live in town or for gag costumes for special events. I decided the ghost costume made out of an old sheet was an easy thing to let go of. So were the two cowboy hats since we had two other similar ones. The Beethoven wig was pretty shabby. The boa could be useful but it was cheap to begin with and was starting to shed. I doubt if I’d be willing to risk the vacuuming job that would follow wearing it, even for fun. The old lady’s dress was a hold over from when Jim dressed up as “The Church Lady” for a skit. I decided that maybe we didn’t need a special dress for this anymore since during last weekend’s door to door campaigning, a young boy answered the door and yelled up to his mom that “An old lady is at the door!” Boy was that deflating.
Ah, but I did find one thing that I’m happy to give away – the home made superman cape. It is with joy that I will send it to our three year old Korean godchild who is really into superheroes right now. His birthday is coming up and this will be perfect. It feels especially good when I can find the appropriate person to give something to.
We’ve had a lot of company since our homeless family moved out a couple months ago. Fortunately, the father now has a job so they can afford a small apartment but that’s a story for another blog.
Today I’m reflecting on the one semi-permanent house guest, three Mexican visitors, three Danish teachers, and three contra dancers who have stayed in our house over the past three weeks. I guess three’s the charm. They weren’t all here at the same time, but it meant a lot of switching beds and washing sheets. (The dance gypsies were gracious enough to bring their own bedding so they were low maintenance.)
Giving away space to travelers is one of the easier and more pleasant parts of hospitality and I won’t even count it as giving something away since I love the conversation, new ideas, and life they bring to our empty-nest house. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea but it fits our lifestyle right now. Is company a blessing or a burden in your home?
I think our son was either going through a drab and dull phase (or maybe a European fashion stage) when he acquired these sweaters since they’re all basically black, gray, navy, or brown. I only had 7 sweaters so I added 6 pairs of socks. (Don’t worry, I counted a pair as one.) I still was not to 14 items for the week, however, so I’m throwing in a Christmas cloth with holly on it. I’m not sure how it moved into our house, but at least it adds a little color and interest to the photo.
One of our son’s has a model airplane that he’s never put together. In fact, he’s never even taken the cellophane off the box. The story goes that he received it as a birthday present when he was about 13 but wasn’t real keen on it. He saved it and later when he needed to give a present to a friend he wrapped it up and regifted it. He didn’t realize that the person he was giving it to was the same person who had given the plane to him. Since they were pretty good friends, they laughed about it and it became the standing present that they have now given back and forth for over 20 years.
Sometimes I feel a little guilty if I regift something, but sometimes there are those occasions when I really need to give something but it’s more of an honorary gift since the receiver doesn’t really need anything. I keep a drawer of gifts for occasions like this. Some are new things from our travels, some are duplicates, some are gag gifts, and some are just nice things – but not my style. How do you feel about giving or receiving a “regift”? Is it being cheesy, ungrateful, gauche, frugal…?
What do horses and shoes have to do with what I’m giving away this week? I have 11 polo shirts and 3 pairs of shoes. (You are now allowed to groan.) Some of these are pretty nice. I hope the new wearer enjoys them. I’m finally through the shirt category. Next week, let’s see what sweaters our sons have allowed me to give away.
All this giving away has created a surplus of hangers in our house. I’ve used the pretty plastic left over hangers as far as they would go, so here are the ugly wire ones and a few pants/skirts hangers. Should I just throw them away? Is there a way to recycle them? They are a testimony to my cleaner, more spacious closets. But a wire hanger can sometimes come in handy. I used to break into my car with one before manufacturers changed the nature of car locks. (I was infamous for locking my keys in my car in bad parts of town and the locals taught me this trick.) They’re good for retrieving small items under radiators. Hmmm. I think I can give all these away and if I need a hanger in an emergency, I’ll just take one of the remaining ones hanging out with my clothes. Perhaps that will be a sign to let go of the clothing.
PS: I found that Thrift Stores often can use extra hangers. Also we’ve started a recycling container for metal that we put in the basement and plan to empty every half year or so.
Hanging shirts are sort of like “hanging chads.” How do you count them? I put each of these button down shirts on its own pretty plastic hanger so you could count them more easily in the photo. (I confess that I later switched the nice hangers to the clothes I’m keeping.) I only had 12 shirts though so my husband gallantly contributed two of his older shirts. I’m already anticipating a possible regret, however. I really liked a couple of the plaid flannel shirts. They were from our son’s high school days which means they would probably fit me. “No, No, Susan. Stay strong. You don’t need more flannel shirts even if you do like them!”
I just learned that our married son’s house was broken into. Two computers and other electronics were taken along with some jewelry. Having survived several burglaries when Jim and I were newly marrieds, I know how upsetting this can be. Even if you have insurance, it’s a hassle to replace things and some items are irreplaceable because of sentimental value.
After calming down from the shock and anger, I started to think about how much harder it is to have things stolen than to choose to give them away. It’s like losing something, but worse. Although my altruistic side admires the Bishop in Les Mis who accepts the burglar as a person in need and doesn’t press charges, still my practical side is angry and figures if it were me, I’d at least want to count the experience as equal to giving away a couple month’s stuff. Certainly the cost to my son would probably be more than all the things I’m giving away all year. Yes, our society is on hard economic times, but how should we respond to people who really need the basics of life? Who knows the circumstances of this particular robber, but it makes one think.
This week it’s the “T-shirts Without Words” turn. I didn’t quite have enough to double my numbers so I added a pair of my old bike shorts and a bandanna to bring it to 14 items. Now I’m starting to have room in the blue guest bedroom dresser for guests to store their clothes. I’m just a little worried, however, that son #3 or #4 will come home and say he didn’t really mean to give away “x” and could I retrieve it because it was his favorite and he was in a hurry and under duress when I forced him to choose things to give away. (“Is that Nintendo Rehab shirt from last week already gone, Mom?”)
Normally I might feel a little guilty about leaving good literature in doorways, but it’s campaign season and actually this is one thing I feel virtuous about. It’s not that I enjoy walking around all afternoon trying to find addresses and knocking on strangers’ doors, but I feel it is my duty. I have no right to complain about the electorate making ill-informed decisions, if I haven’t made an effort to educate them. It’s a thankless job, but I did have some interesting experiences.
One preteen told me his mother would vote for my candidate if I hugged him. Another stop was at a nursing home where some of my contacts were dead, some were asleep, and the rest could hardly hear. One fellow from Somalia said he had been a US citizen for ten years but the government still gave him no rights. Another intelligent elderly woman seemed genuinely interested in becoming informed but didn’t know who to believe. I steered her to public radio. The literature was free to me, so maybe I didn’t give away any of my stuff, but I did give away my time and opinions. I’ll deal with giving away heavier literature like books later in the year.
Our young adults were just home for a family vacation and
I finally had an opportunity to get their OK to give away many of their clothes stored at our house. Since they obviously were not wearing them on a daily basis, I hit the jackpot in the category of “Kids Clothes Left at Home.” Most of the items were from our youngest son who lives in Singapore where it’s summer all year round. I collected enough to give one item away for almost three months. It didn’t quite seem fair to count it this way, however, since even though I bought most of the clothes, they weren’t mine. (Besides this would make for some pretty repetitive photos.) I decided to compromise and count two for one. Thus for the next six weeks I’m giving away two things a day. Even with this plan, however, there were too many T-shirts so I divided them into blank T-shirts and T-shirts with words. This week you see the shirts with words. My favorite is the red “Nintendo Rehabilitation Clinic.” It’s also worth noting the one with Korean lettering. Anybody able to translate it?
During Spring planting season, I had already anticipated the title for this September entry. It was going to be “Do Zucchini Count?” I planted about 10 squash – mostly zucchini. Knowing the reputation of how prolific zucchini are, I was sure I would have so many to give away by this time of year, my biggest problem would be finding receivers and knowing whether to count a bunch of five as one “give away.”
Well, Mother Nature has not been kind to my garden this summer – especially the squash. My first planting bloomed beautifully then mysteriously shriveled up and died. Not to worry. I had time to plant more and I did. I even found new places in the yard to plant a few from seed thinking perhaps the soil had been contaminated. Again, they bloomed beautifully, but no squash, EXCEPT for this one hardy fellow. It was in the worst place, shaded, and far from the hose for watering. It’s a butternut squash which I’m not particularly fond of, but I do admire its spunk. We got a few tomatoes, beans, and peppers, but not really enough to give away. My zinnias are doing great, however, so I gave several bunches of them away. They would make a prettier picture, but this squash has earned its photo.
I don’t know which is worse – a pacifist family playing Paintball or buying clothes for one time use. Before you judge me too harshly, here’s what happened. Our family was on our first family vacation with young adults plus spouse, grandchild, and girlfriend. Everyone got to choose one activity they’d really like to do in the hills of Kentucky. As a lark, one chose Paintball, daring the rest of us to join her. Several protested that they didn’t bring clothes that they could afford to mess up or suitable shoes (Those living outside the USA had primarily packed for two weddings.) “No problem!” the Paintball aficionado proclaimed, “I see a Thrift Shop. We can just pick up gaudy, cheap stuff there, wear it once, and then get rid of it.”
Well, it was a vacation, and she was persistent, so we did it. Although we looked pretty hard core, I have to admit, it was fun and no one got seriously hurt – just a few stings. Although it doesn’t seem quite right to buy stuff that we thought was ugly and we’d never wear again, then wash it and give it away, still it’s a family story that I’m sure will be retold for many years. I’m happy to give away the clothes. The memories, I’ll keep.
PS: Note the “Peacekeepers Now” printing on the blue cap. 😕
…a smell. While I was perusing the garage for things I could give away I couldn’t help noticing a foul odor. At first I thought it was an old bag of ammonium nitrate fertilizer. We hadn’t used it in years but I was afraid to put it in the garbage since it might be classified as a hazardous material. Now that’s a problem because it took me an hour of googling and several phone calls to our garbage company to verify that it was safe to throw away. Unfortunately, the smell remained so I searched for other sources.
Maybe it’s all that kitty litter that I had saved to stabilize the luminaria candles? Hmmm, that made sense since we have some stray cats in the neighborhood and maybe they found a new place to pee. Got rid of the kitty litter, the candles, and the luminaria bags – just in case. A few days later I still noticed “the stink.” No skunks around that I know of, but lots of other old debris in the garage. Maybe the cats, being deprived of their handy kitty litter, decided to pee in the five planters of dirt I had stored in the garage. So, I emptied the dirt into a shallow part of our yard. The stink continued. I finally scraped off the old hornet nests, climbed up to check the rafters for dead animals, swept the floor, and cleared out more dirt and debris. Nothing was left that a cat could possibly care to sit on. I also found an old can of spray that repels cats and dogs from the garden and sprayed everything. This whole process took a couple days and I have no photo to show for it! Everything was thrown away and too ugly to photograph.
I had, however, stored an old Atari set (which originally belonged to our now 36 year old son) in the garage. He agreed I could give it away since it may no longer work anyway. Well, at least I have a photo. Does anybody want an Atari set? I believe he played Pong on it. 😕
PS: The Atari is going, but not the smell.
Our unattached garage serves an important function. It is the last step before things rot on their own or get put out for the garbage. I can decide to probably give something away, but not finalize the decision since it might be retrievable if it’s in the garage – that is if the neighborhood cats haven’t peed on it or critters from the holler behind our house haven’t destroyed it. I did find a few items worthy of giving away (a lamp, a bike machine motor, bacon grill that doesn’t fit our microwave, and a mailbox) plus I found some things that went straight from garage to garbage (rotting yellow model train boards and a rusty snow shovel). My questions for the future are:
- How many old flower pots should one save for replanting?
- How much lumber might we really use for repair jobs?
- How many old campaign signs does my husband need since this is his last term on the School Board?
- And the clincher: Will we ever use the supplies for 50 Christmas luminaria? – Our driveway isn’t that long!
As I focus on giving my extra stuff away, it seems like others keep giving to me. At first I felt frustrated, like the giving was going in the wrong direction. Then, I decided that receiving and being grateful was also a gift. In a sense, when I give, I am in control. It’s good to be on the other end occasionally and humbly accept the gifts of others.
At a recent conference someone just gave (not lent) me a red pen when I mentioned that I forgot to bring mine. Another person gave me her scarf when she noticed I was cold in an air-conditioned room – and insisted that I keep it. I had some extra time to read so I went to the Chaminade University library to check out a couple books. Since I wasn’t a student or local resident the head librarian said, “Hey, just put it on my card. I know you’re trustworthy.” I also needed a pleasant room for a post conference retreat I was responsible for. One local participant arranged for my group to use the President’s Lounge for a day – free. Another person saw me eyeing a couple books for a class that she teaches. I also teach a similar class on leadership. She said, “Just take them. I’ve got extras.” That’s 7 items that people gave me in one week. I’ll have to step up my giving.
Can returning stuff count? Yes! Some times it takes more effort to return stuff to its rightful owner than to just give a bunch of stuff away. Returning several library books was easy because there’s a time limit and the library is on my way to many places. Returning the car seat we had borrowed for our homeless family’s child was easy because it was from our next door neighbor. It was more difficult, however, to get a pillow and sheets back to an out of town guest who had stayed with us. Then there were a pair a reading glasses and water bottle that we don’t know who they belong to. We’ve put out several e-mails and still can’t find the owners. There are also the 20 plastic table cloths that I carefully wipe clean and save from year to year so our dance community doesn’t have to buy new ones each New Years Eve. This has the added advantage of making me feel quite virtuously green. Returning them to use every year can be a hassle, but I think reusing stuff should definitely count as would any recycling effort.
Speaking of souvenirs, I recently returned from a conference with a number of international participants. It never ceases to amaze me how generous other people are – especially people from other countries. In addition to sharing their talents of singing, dancing, and laughter, the Koreans and Hawaiians showered us with little gifts. Of course there is the Hawaiian custom of honoring visitors with a lei and Jim and I each received a beautiful hand made yarn lei that will last more than a day. The Koreans also gave us fans, decorative candles, key chains, and beautiful bookmarks and little purses. I really do need to learn from their generosity.
There is a problem, however. As gracious as these gifts are, I can’t use them all. I think I’ve found a solution. I’ve put many of these colorful gifts into a basket and when visitors come to our home – especially young children – I invite them to choose something from the basket. It’s a way of passing on the gift and culture of other generous people.
Giving away trinkets is one thing, but what about when trinkets are mementos of a foreign trip and you’ll probably never go to that country again? That is the question I asked myself when I stared at these Pepsi bottles. About 20 years ago our family was part of a month long family exchange program in the Soviet Union. We thought it was cool to bring home Pepsi bottles written with the Cyrillic alphabet. I saved two but what do I do with them now? They’re not quite display items, yet I don’t want to drink them. (I’m not sure of the shelf life of pop in bottles.) Hmmm. I wonder if it would be worth money on E-Bay? Whoops, that wouldn’t be giving it away. Now that I have a photo of it maybe that’ll do. Since I’m on the souvenir theme, this week I’m also clearing out some other minor souvenirs from Russia, Korea, Japan, and Africa.
