Living Lightly

Today is Valentine’s Day (obviously not Ash Wednesday) but human needs don’t wait on the liturgical calendar. Today there’s a shower for our pregnant teenage friend. She needs EVERYTHING! Although I had been saving a lot of baby gear for our own grandchildren just in case our own young adults might want them, I keep telling myself this teenager NEEDS this stuff now. I’ve decided that this immediate need trumps the “just in case” principle. I have some emotional attachment to the baby outfits and know that I’ll probably not see them again (like the maternity clothes I gave her), but I’m trying to let go. Too bad I can’t count this for one of my 40 Lenten give-aways; but then, who’s counting? 🙂

The other side of regretting throwing something away, is being happy I saved something – for a brief moment. Last Sunday our parish had an African-American Culture Mass. About 10 years ago (when my daughter was a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa) we had matching “complets” made. (A complet is a brightly colored woman’s outfit common in West Africa.) I thought it would be nice to wear it to the Mass. I searched and, voila! there it was in my closet. I wore it. Nobody noticed. That was OK. I decided it just wasn’t me and I probably should have given it away years ago. Lesson? Is this something I would replace if I lost it? If not, it’s probably safe to give away. Anybody have other rules of thumb for what to save?

I was afraid this would happen. Last night I was looking for something different to wear to the weekly contra dance. I thought I’d pull out a long top I made several years ago – you know the kind that is longer than a top but shorter than a dress that’s worn over tights. It was popular about five years ago. Well, I hadn’t worn it for awhile and probably defaulted to the “If you haven’t worn it in two years, give it away” rule, because I couldn’t find it. This was a pretty harmless and reversible loss, since I have plenty of dance outfits, but what if it happens for something I really want – like having an extra pair of snow boots for a winter guest from Hawaii?

Most people who are reading this blog and are rich, probably did not come by their wealth dishonestly. (In fact, most probably don’t consider themselves wealthy – at least I didn’t until I rubbed shoulders with people living in American ghettos or parts of Africa or India.)
For the sake of argument, however, let’s say I make over $250,000. Is this too rich? I think it all depends on how much I keep. Do I spend it all on my own family and creature comforts? How much do I give to worthy causes? Is it enough? I struggle with this question and dare not judge others. The best I can say is that the more I have, the more responsibility I have to use it for the common good. Think taxes, service, and philanthropy.

Yes. I believe there are two ways to be “too rich.” The first is if one’s riches were obtained on the backs of the poor or vulnerable. For example, producing a shoddy or environment damaging product, not paying a living wage, capitalizing on people’s vices (like gambling, alcoholism, smoking, pimping…), or using deceitful advertizing seem dishonorable ways to become rich. Persuading people to take out a loan beyond their means to buy a house comes to mind as we all suffer from the collapse the economy due to unscrupulous banking practices. See tomorrow for Way # 2.

Yes. I was talking with a friend who grew up in poverty. She said she made a commitment then to make sure that neither she, nor any of her family, would have to face that kind of want again. In my mind there is a big difference between destitution and holy simplicity. There’s little holy about abject poverty. It wounds the body as well as the soul. When I seek to simplify, I don’t mean to live in squalor but rather to be more intentional about observing what is a “want” and what is a true “need.”

How can such a laudatory plan of giving stuff away induce guilt? Well, yesterday I bought two new turtleneck tops. I only planned on getting one but I could only take advantage of the sale if I got two – for the price of one. True, my current blue and white tops were pretty threadbare and in the winter such clothes are like a uniform to me, BUT did I really NEED them? If I give my threadbare ones away during Lent will that negate any sacrifice since I just bought two replacements? My husband knows that by nature I am frugal. He cautions that I could get too caught up in the minutia of measuring these things out. He’s probably right.

To put this “giving stuff away” into perspective, it occurs to me that there are plenty people in this world for whom giving away one thing a day would be a true hardship because they have so little. Jim and I have been helping out a teenage mother-to-be for whom it would be ludicrous to give anything away. We also have friends in Africa and India who would find my Lenten plan absurd. We’ve never been dirt poor but have had times of living paycheck to paycheck. Still it is sobering to realize that middle class folk like ourselves have the luxury of choosing what to give away. Think Haiti, again.

… a zipper. Finally, I’m able to actually get rid of something tangible. The zipper on my robe broke today. It’s been going bad for awhile but now it seems irreparably broken and putting in a new zipper is above my pay grade. It’s clear I need to throw out this garment. Today’s dilemma? My daughter left a perfectly good white terry cloth robe in her closet. Since she’ll be in Afghanistan for at least one more year, there’s no way she will use it. BUT, I don’t particularly like this plain robe. Do I wear it anyway rather than replacing it? I’ve put it in my closet and will see if I warm to the idea.

Today was garbage day and I noticed that Jim had put several old shirts in the trash. At first I thought that was a shame, he should have at least given them to the Viet Vets who pick up stuff once a month or Goodwill. He said he had a separate pile of clothes to give to Goodwill and that those shirts were too worn and the sweater had a hole in it. “You shouldn’t give stuff away that is in bad condition,” he said. I disagreed since I thought a sweater with a tiny hole would be better than nothing for people in Haiti who had nothing or others who were cold. This got me thinking though about the morality of giving things away to others that we think are not suitable for us to wear. I also found myself cutting off all the buttons from one shirt in case I would need that size later. Then I thought that that shirt would have been very usable if I had just left the buttons on. Oh, what to do…