Couple to Couple League
Provides quality Natural Family Planning services throughout the world in order to strengthen the family.
P.O. Box 111184, Cincinnati, OH 45211-1184
Phone: 800-745-8252
E-Mail: ccli@ccli.org
Web Site: www.ccli.org

Effective Father Seminars
For assistance in your efforts to become a more effective father or grandfather
1750 University Dr., Suite 214, Coral Springs, FL 33071
Phone: 877-510-4555
Fax: 954-341-4765
E-Mail: efsjkream@msn.com
Web Site: www.effectivefathers.com

Family First
Mark Merrill offers daily parenting tips often linked to longer articles to help parents build healthy families. To sign up for Family Minute with Mark Merrill go to the website below.
609 W. De Leon Street, Tampa, FL 33606
Phone: 813-222-8300
Web Site: www.familyfirst.net

Holy Family Ministry
An organization which seeds to inspire families through its “A Quiet Moment” sculpture, a visual prayer of the Holy Family.
Tony Frey
P.O. Box 424, Kitchener, ON, Canada N2G 3Y9
Phone: 877-232-2203
Fax: 519-742-1273
Web Site: www.holyfamilyministry.com

Institute for Peace and Justice Network
A network of families and leaders working to make their own families more caring and to make our world a better place. Initiators of FAVAN (Families Against Violence Advocacy Network). Provides workshops, resources, and support.
Kathy McGinnis, Director (founders: Jim & Kathy McGinnis)
475 East Lockwood Ave., St. Louis, MO 63119
Phone: 314-918-2630
Fax: 314-918-2643
E-Mail: ipj@ipj-ppj.org
The Institute for Peace and Justice
Web Site: www.ipj-ppj.org

Rainbows
Provides a bridge to emotional healing for children, adolescents and adults confronting death, divorce or other painful family transition.
Suzy Yehl Marta
2100 Golf Rd. #370, Rolling Meadows, IL 60008-4231
Phone: 800-266-3206, 847-952-1770
Fax: 847-952-1774
E-Mail: info@rainbows.org
Web Site: www.rainbows.org

Spiritual Parenting
A free, monthly on-line newsletter that provides action based ideas for raising happy, kind children who remain connected to their spirits and their families. To subscribe, go to the website below and click newsletter.
Mimi Doe
P.O. Box 157, Concord, Massachusetts 01742
Phone: (978) 369-7479
E-Mail: Mimi@SpiritualParenting.com
Web Site: www.SpiritualParenting.com

Weekly Meditations for Busy Parents
A free weekly e-mail service that provides a spiritual insight for active parents. This is a service of At Home with our Faith newsletter and is sponsored by the Claretian Missionaries. To subscribe, go to the website below and click on Weekly Meditation.
Mary Lynn Hendrickson, Editor
205 W. Monroe St., Chicago, IL 60606-5033
Phone: 312-236-7782
E-Mail: weeklymeditations@homefaith.com
Web Site: www.homefaith.com

BACK TO TOP

PARENTING POINTERS
From June 6, 2003 to November 2009 below.
From November 2011 to present go to www.facebook.com/SusanV.Vogt.
Search under #ParentingPointer

 If you are a pastoral minister or marriage and family educator, you are welcome to reprint these in bulletins, your church or agency website, or other similar resource as long as you use the credit line:
"by Susan Vogt, www.SusanVogt.net".
If you use these on a website, please also link to my website.
You may also send these out to your own database. Please abide by the following:
1. Send e-mails only to people who request it, i.e. "opt in"
2. Use the entire quote.
3. Include the credit line: "by Susan Vogt, www.SusanVogt.net"
All Parenting Pointers are by Susan Vogt unless otherwise noted. I do not share names or addresses with anyone else.

90. “Prioritize all the many demands on your time by saying ‘no’ to things without feelings. So, if you have a free hour and your kitchen floor needs waxing but your teenager needs some time alone with you, pick your daughter over the floor.” (Mimi Doe, www.SpiritualParenting.com )

91. Resist the urge to buy something new this week. Have each person in the family pick one possession to give away during Lent. (Consider gently used toys, books, or hand-me-downs that need to find a new home.)

92. Where do you go to church? Perhaps it’s closer than you think. A family is “the most basic way in which the Lord gathers us, forms us, and acts in the world. The early Church expressed this truth by calling the Christian family a domestic church or church of the home.” (Follow the Way of Love, USCCB). Pray at home today.

93. “Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28) Sometimes parents need to give themselves a “time out”. If this fits you, take a break today. Believe the scripture.

94. “Families teach people to manage pain. Much of the terrible craziness in the world comes from running from pain.” (Mary Pipher) Who in your family, nuclear or extended, seems to be hurting the most these days? Stand with them.

95. “Humility is the virtue of parenthood. It usually comes unbidden after the pride of being the perfect parent is punctured by our children’s honesty and raw edges.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Not all suffering is physical. How have your children purified you?

96. Laughter, when shared, is a healing balm. Share jokes today. Does your family have any stories about family foibles that get repeated over and over at family gatherings? It doesn't matter that it's embarrassing, it becomes family mythology. Ours has to do with a baked potato that someone sat on. What's yours?

97. How big is your family? Who lives farthest away? Who haven't you heard from in awhile? Reconnect with a family member this week.

98. "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." (Nikka - age 6) Who is it hard for you to love these days? Just for today, try to think positively about that person.

99. Family discussion starter: Imagine being present at the creation. Which creation day is your favorite: light, the sky, the earth and vegetation, the sun and moon, birds and sea creatures, animals, humanity, a day of rest? (adapted from the Family Memory Calendar, Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown, 814-886-5551)

100. If you want someone to change, encouragement is more effective than criticism. Look for one thing about your child's behavior that you can praise today. This is often easier with toddlers. With older children perhaps you'd like to experiment with sending an e-mail or IM. Use their medium to connect. 101. “In the end, you can only teach the things that you are.” (Max Learner) Is there a habit you would like to nurture in your child? Work on yourself first.

102. “Speaking in tongues” is not about magic but rather sending a message to another. Sometimes words are unnecessary. Consider how parents communicate with babies nonverbally or through tone of voice. But words help clarify the message. Learn a word in a foreign language or sign language this weekend. If need be, find a foreigner to help you.

103. Do something extra for your faith. Consider attending a religious service of a different faith tradition. You may not only learn about God through different eyes, you will probably come away with a new appreciation for your own faith community.

104. “Love doesn’t mean always rescuing someone from mistakes and foolishness. Tough love helps children face the realities of cause and effect.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Parents need to cultivate the courage and stamina to withstand whining and pleading. Let the consequence be the teacher. It’s tough, I know.

105. Teach your child a virtue today, but do it without talking. Let your actions speak. Consider charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, or generosity.

106. “To respect myself, to affirm others, and to avoid uncaring criticism, hateful words, physical attacks and self destructive behavior.” (Family Pledge of Nonviolence, #1, www.ipj-ppj.org) Discuss whether it would be possible for your family to say “yes” to this part of the pledge.

107. What does it mean to be a good father? Protection? Caring? Wisdom? Laying down your life for your child? Remember your own father. He was probably good at many things, weak or absent in others. Take the good and pass it on. Let go of the rest. “As ye judge, so will ye be judged.”

108. Tired of nagging and whining? Try running a RACE instead. Nagging and whining usually happen because the child or parent doesn’t do what’s wanted. Let the consequence be the reminder. Watch for the R-A-C-E steps to reduce nagging in your home over the next four Parenting Pointers

109. Instead of NAGGING, run a R-A-C-E. (Part 1)
R – Agree to a RULE. What expectations do you have for doing chores, homework, driving, media, going to church. Make the rule specific and fair.

110Instead of NAGGING, run a R-A-C-E. (Part 2)
A – AGREE. If your child is old enough to participate in the making of the rule, negotiate something you can both live with. For example, if YOU want the rule to be “no clothes on the floor,” maybe you could compromise to “no clothes on the floor by bed time.” Rules work best when both parties have a say.

111. Instead of NAGGING, run a R-A-C-E. (Part 3)
C – Agree to a CONSEQUENCE. This is the key. The consequence can be natural or logical; a reward for good behavior or loss of privilege for an infraction. It must, however, be something that will consistently follow.

112. Instead of NAGGING, run a R-A-C-E. (Part 4)
E – Enforce/Evaluate. Once you and your child have agreed upon a consequence, no (or few) words need be spoken. If the consequence requires your enforcement you must calmly follow through. If the negative behavior continues, evaluate together whether a different consequence would be more effective.

113. Instead of NAGGING, run a R-A-C-E. (Part 5)
The silent W – Write it down. RACE has no “W” but children are geniuses at wheedling out of consequences. It’s their job. If your child is old enough to read, write the rule and consequence in simple language. If necessary, draw pictures.

114. “To share my feelings honestly, to look for safe ways to express my anger, and to work at solving problems peacefully.” (#2, Family Pledge of Nonviolence, www.ipj-ppj.org) Could your family say “Yes” to this? World peace starts with teaching children the skills of conflict resolution.

115. On the seventh day God rested. Have you and your family had any refreshing rest this summer? If not now, when? Enjoy a day of no work beyond what is needed to eat and be safe.

116. “Parents aren’t the only influence in their kids’ lives, so they need to be the best, the loudest, the clearest and the closest.” (Dr. Phil McGraw) Many parents don’t have a problem with the “loud” part, but being clear without catching diarrhea of the mouth can be a challenge.

117. In disciplining a child, take away wants not needs. Thus dessert, TV, toys, driving, video games are wants or privileges. Nutritious food, warm clothes, time for homework, transportation to school, access to loving relatives, a safe environment, and nurturing spirituality are human needs. Taking away a teen’s cell phone is not cruel punishment; it is a privilege they earn.

118. A bored child doesn’t have enough to do. If you child complains of nothing to do, don’t rush to supply entertainment. Certainly there are jobs that you need help with. Joining your child in honest labor can take more time, but your family IS your job.

119. “We measure every policy, every institution, and every action by whether it protects human life and enhances human dignity, especially for the poor and vulnerable.” (Sharing Catholic Social Teaching, 1998) As parents we are like giants to our young children who often feel small and vulnerable in our presence. How does the way you discipline your children respect their dignity?

120. When our children are successful and getting all A’s in school it’s natural to be proud of them. Be careful of taking the credit for their success, however, lest you also have to take blame for their failures. Don’t live your life through your child. Your success as a parent does not depend on how your child turns out.

121. Moses had his relatives; Jesus had the apostles; even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. Do you have a community of friends and relatives who can back you up, spell you, and support you in your parenting? Look for adults who share your values at soccer practice, scouts, academic teams, PTA’s, church…

122. Teach your child a value this weekend but do it without saying a word. Consider faithfulness to a promise, self-control, goodness, gentleness, modesty, chastity. Which of these fruits of the Holy Spirit is the biggest challenge for you?

123. When you first saw your new born child you probably had an instinctive awe and desire to protect this new life. Extend that respect for life to others who are weak or powerless in our society – unborn babies, handicapped persons, the poor, the elderly, even those on death row. Each human life is precious.

124. Babies and toddlers cry – a lot! It’s their way of talking. How do you know when to respond and when to ignore crying? Until a child is one year old, the rule of thumb is to always respond. Even if they are not hurting, they may need your comfort. Sometimes we parents need to cry out to God for help too.

125. After age one, crying can still be an important warning, but it can also be manipulative. Is your child hungry, hurt, afraid, or sick? Of course the responsible parent responds – no matter what the hour or the football score.

126. Is there such a thing as a “false cry” from a child? For infants crying is a matter of survival, but as children get older some crying can be manipulative. All cries are a cry for attention but if the child just wants to have his or her own way, sometimes the best way to respond is to ignore the cry or call a time out for whining. (See 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan)

127. Children can train their parents to give them what they want by throwing a tantrum. No one likes to hear a child cry so often it’s easier to just give them the candy, toy, or their way so they will be quiet. Unfortunately the child learns that if he or she just screams and kicks long enough, the parent will give in. If it’s a safe place, ignore the tantrum. If this is impossible, firmly – BUT WITHOUT ANGER – hold the child as long as necessary.

128. The simplicity movement promotes the day after Thanksgiving as “Buy Nothing Day. Celebrate this day by playing games, telling stories, singing, etc. as a family. Even if you still buy stuff on other days, this is a way to honor the spirit of home-made entertainment. Try it. You might find it becomes a new family tradition.

129. “It takes a certain quantity of time to catch the quality times. The time it takes to listen to a child’s worry may take less than a minute. Being there when the worry comes up may involve an entire day of just being around.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference.)

130. “To listen carefully to one another, especially those who disagree with me, and to consider others’ feelings and needs rather than insist on having my own way.” (#3, Family Pledge of Nonviolence, www.ipj-ppj.org) Could your family say “Yes” to this? World peace begins at home.

131. Longing for something makes it more precious. Although our culture has already started celebrating Christmas, Advent is the holy season of waiting and preparing for Christmas. Teach your children little lessons in patience by waiting to eat till everyone is served, waiting to speak until the other is finished, waiting to open presents till Christmas. Parents can practice waiting in traffic or in the lines at stores. Pray while you wait.

132. Thanksgiving and Christmas are traditionally times when young adults return home and blended families regather in unique and complicated ways. As joyous as these times can be they often are also times of stress as the family system gets reshuffled. If there was tension at Thanksgiving, think of ways to get out of the power struggle at Christmas. If your family is perfect, work on letting go of pride.

133. “Mary, do not be afraid.” (Lk 1:31) “How can this be, since I have no knowledge of man?” (Lk 1:34) “Her husband Joseph, being an upright man and wanting to spare her disgrace, decided to divorce her informally.” (Mt1:19) Reflect upon the circumstances of the birth of each of your children. Perhaps retell them their birth or adoption story.

134. The wait is almost over. Christmas is almost here. In many families, the stress and excitement level is also high. Try taking five minutes to sit in the dark with your child with just the light from a candle (or the four Advent candles). You needn’t say anything, just wait in silence, ponder the reason for the season, and decompress.

135. As this year closes, reminisce highlights from 2005 with your child(ren). What made them most happy, sad, angry, and afraid? Share your own feelings also. Is there anything either of you want to change in 2006?

2006

136. On the feast of the Epiphany, the wise still seek Him. Tradition tells us that the magi brought valuable gifts to Jesus. What gifts of wisdom can you give your child? A lesson learned from your childhood? A proverb that steers your life? A virtue to which you've struggled to be true?

137. "To apologize and make amends when I have hurt another, to forgive others, and to keep from holding grudges." (#4, Family Pledge of Nonviolence, www.ipj-ppj.org) Could your family say "Yes" to this? World peace begins at home.

138. Children often criticize, and make fun of others. So do their parents. Check yourself against these three criteria: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If not, it's probably fault finding or gossip.

139. "Seeing one bad movie, watching an occasional violent TV program, or trying out a violent video game is not generally going to scar a person for life. A steady diet of the above, however, desensitizes our society, our families, and ourselves to violence - and the ante has been rising." (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference)

140. Don’t “cry wolf” with your children. They need to know that when you say there will be a punishment for something – and they do the forbidden act anyway – that you will follow through. (Of course don’t threaten to do something outlandish like grounding them till they’re 21 either.)

141. Help your child “Go for the gold” but search for the silver – lining that is. When something goes wrong, think of how it might have been worse or how some different good will come out of it. For example, if a child breaks a toy, after the sadness can come gladness if it forces your child to seek out some forgotten toys.

142. An ache here, a pain there; an angst or an annoyance. What to do? Offer it up. It’s a traditional spiritual practice and may sound trite but offering up our troubles as a prayer can redirect our energy away from our own gloom to the good of another. Who would you offer up your problems for today?

143. “God Bless you” is not just for sneezes. Bless your child today. (Go to the Enrichment activity at www.SusanVogt.net/EnrichmentEx.htm for ideas.)

144. (Lent) Spiritually Lent is a time to take stock of our lives, see what we can live without and notice who needs our help. Clean out a closet. Clean out your soul – consider if it’s time to make a confession. Does your child know how to make an examination of conscience? Do you?

145. (Lent) Although we should respond to those in need all year round, Lent can be a time when parents teach their children about the 7 Corporal Works of Mercy. The first two are to feed the hungry and give drink to the thirsty. Of course as parents you do this for your family every day, but what about eating more simply during Lent (Google Operation Rice Bowl) or serving at a soup kitchen.

146. (Lent) The 3rd Corporal work of Mercy is to clothe the naked. Although teens may clamor that THEY need more clothes, or worse, that the naked body is beautiful so why can’t they bare their midriff at school, taking usable clothing to Goodwill or St. Vincent de Paul can be a Lenten outing.

147. (Lent) The 4th Corporal Work of Mercy is to shelter the homeless. This might be hard for most families to do without extra bedrooms, but consider if your community or school has given refuge to any Katrina victims? Giving hospitality to travelers, or perhaps even stretching the concept to giving a stray dog a safe home, can count.

148. (Lent) The 5th Corporal Work of Mercy is to visit the imprisoned (or as older translations say, “ransom the captive”). Of course children are not allowed in prisons, but the family can correspond with inmates as ours did or consider visiting the elderly imprisoned by fear and unable to get out by themselves.

149. (Lent) The 6th Corporal Work of Mercy is to visit the sick. We get so busy when we’re healthy that it’s easy to forget those who are not able bodied. And what about those who suffer from invisible illnesses like depression and other mental illnesses. Signing a “Get well card” or tagging along as a parent visits a sick friend are things that even young children can do. Do you know anyone who is sick this week?

150. (Good Friday) The 7th Corporal Work of Mercy is to bury the dead. Of course this usually cannot be planned ahead unless it’s capital punishment as we see in Christ’s crucifixion. Where did these Works of Mercy come from? Common sense, a compassionate heart, and Matthew 25:31-46. Can you tell the difference between a sheep and a goat?

151. (around Earth day – mid April) “To treat the environment and all living things, including our pets, with respect and care.” (#5, Family Pledge of Nonviolence, www.ipj-ppj.org) Could your family say “Yes” to this? Celebrate Earth Day by using less plastic and disposables for a day, maybe even for a week, maybe forever. The less we consume the world’s resources the less we will fight over who gets what. World peace begins at home.

152. “Even if we are not called to sell all that we have (Luke 18-22), we probably are called to not buy everything that it is possible to buy.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference)

153. “The families of migrants, especially in the case of manual workers and farm workers, should be able to find a homeland everywhere in the church.” (Familiaris Consortio) Does your family know any current migrants from another country? Consider inviting their children to play with yours.

154. (For Mother’s Day) If you are a mother, hopefully your child(ren) will honor you on Mother’s Day. Think also of your own mother and how your life honors her. And then there are mothers who come by their role indirectly (foster and adoptive mothers, mothers-in-law, stepmothers, and those who have been like a mother to you.) Honor an honorary mother this week.

155. “Maybe Cain wouldn’t have killed Abel if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.” (Larry, age 7) Sometimes changing the environment solves parenting problems.

156. “Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.” (Mt 11:28) You may not need this scripture right now, but if you’re a parent you’ll need it sometime, maybe daily. Hang on to these words of comfort when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

157. As vacation begins for most students, a “summer job jar” can be a sanity strategy. Write about 50 simple jobs on slips of paper and put in a jar. Each weekday your child picks one and has to do it before dinner. See June Enrichment Activity for more details.

158. Another summer sanity strategy: Consider instituting a “quiet hour” each day, (perhaps after lunch). Children go to a bedroom to nap, read, play quietly, or daydream. They don’t have to sleep, but you might want to.

159. (Father’s Day) If you are a father, hopefully your child(ren) will honor you on Father’s Day. Think also of your own father and how your life honors him. And then there are fathers who come by their role indirectly (foster and adoptive fathers, fathers-in-law, stepfathers, and those who have been like a father to you. Honor an honorary father this week.

160. “Include your children in conversations instead of talking over their heads. Often we assume that our kids can’t understand what we are discussing with other adults and talk as if they are invisible. Respect your children and when appropriate bring them up to speed in conversations.” (Mimi Doe, Spiritual Parenting)

161. Travel can be draining with kids but it can also be uplifting and increase our global awareness. Whether it’s 20 miles or 2,000 miles you meet people with different life stories. Take the time to listen to strangers along the way of your summer travel. Pray for them and the needs of the towns or region you visit.

162. Give your child an allowance if you like, but don’t pay children for doing common household chores. After all, nobody pays you to fix dinner or cut the grass. Being part of a family means that everyone, children included, pitches in to help. Contributing is part of belonging.

163. “We offer plenty of unsolicited advice to our kids as they're growing up – and to our surprise, sometimes they even take it! Once they're grown, though, it can be hard to hold our tongues. Try these three things: 1. Don't offer advice unless you're asked. 2. Don't be critical of decisions made by your children or their spouses. 3. If they do ask your opinion, say, ‘Here's how I'd do it...’ rather than, ‘Here's what you should do.’" (Family Minute by Mark Merrill)

164. "Dear God, thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy." (Joyce, age 6) We don't always get what we pray for; Thank God. Is there something you fervently prayed for and later discovered your prayer was answered in a better way?

165. You don't have to be on vacation to take photos. Try getting the family together for a silly pose. Send it to out of town relatives by e-mail or snail mail.

166. Since before Cinderella, stepparents have had a bad rap. In some cases it may be deserved but most often they play a precarious role, trying to love as a true parent but often unsure of their job. If you have a stepchild, listen and wait to be accepted. If you don't, pray for those in step relationships this week.

167. "Be careful how you express your most dearly held values to your children. Because of the strength of these convictions, parents sometimes impose them rigidly and in an extreme way on their children." (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Yes, share your faith, values, love of sports, music… with your children, but listen too.

168. As summer winds down and many parents' thoughts turn to school, prepare your child by talking about bedtime and morning routines, hopes for the year, and safety tips. Perhaps the wedding adage, "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" can bring comfort, excitement, frugality, and fun to the start of the school year.

169. "To select entertainment and toys that support our family's values and to avoid entertainment that makes violence look exciting, funny, or acceptable." (#6, Family Pledge of Nonviolence, www.ipj-ppj.org) Could your family say "Yes" to this? World peace begins at home.

170. Give children choices whenever practical. It helps them develop decision making skills. Just make sure you only give your child a choice that you’re willing to live with as a parent.

172. “Focus on strengths more than mistakes.” (Active Parenting) Watch for one accomplishment or virtue that your child demonstrates today and comment on it.

173. “Anything which parents have not learned from experience, they can now learn from their children.” (Anon) Learn something new from your child today (a song, a joke, how to program a cell phone, how to download a printer driver…)

174. “Not only do I love my son’s mother, I exalt her as a queen.” (Rosario Slack) Do your children hear how much you esteem their other parent? Even if you are separated or divorced you can still speak of their other parent with respect.

175. Don’t complain about anyone or anything today, even if it’s true. For more about truth telling, see. “To Tell the Truth”

176. “Every parent is at some time the father of the unreturned prodigal, with nothing to do but keep his house open to hope.” (John Ciardi) Has your child disappointed you in some way recently? You need to hold him or her accountable, but that doesn’t mean you can’t welcome your child back with open arms. Can you think of any offense that is not forgivable? God can’t.

177. Taking care of your child sometimes means taking time away from your child. Nurturing your marriage will pay benefits for your child even if it costs money for a babysitter. If you are a single parent, trade child care time with another parent and treat yourself to a little R & R. Time out for both parent and child is not always a punishment.

178. “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” (Luke 2:48) It doesn’t take long for a child to present parents with reason for anxiety. Have you ever lost your child either physically or emotionally (to mental illness, drugs, a bad mood)?

179. The average U.S. child is exposed to approximately 8 ½ hours of media a day. Sure, some of that is at school and some is multitasking, but it’s still way too much. Do you know how much time your child watches a screen or has something in his ear? Try counting the hours for one day.

180. “To challenge violence in all its forms whenever I encounter it, whether at home, at school, at work, or in the community, and to stand with others who are treated unfairly.” (#7, Family Pledge of Nonviolence, www.ipj-ppj.org) Could your family say “Yes” to this? World peace begins at home.

181. What does it mean to love our children? Of course it includes spending time listening to, looking at, feeding, washing, helping with homework, and correcting. BUT, spend more time looking for the good than reminding of the bad.

182. The Friday after Thanksgiving is the biggest buying day of the year. Try buying yourself some time by spending time as a family today. Try a little time travel back to the days of the Pilgrims. See if you can live for a day without electricity or automobiles, much less computers. (See Monthly Enrichment – My Grandma's Grandma for ideas)

183. To get into the Advent spirit of waiting and building toward Christmas, try using your address book to pray for people alphabetically at dinner. With 25 days till Christmas and 26 letters in the alphabet, if you pray for people whose name begins with A today you should finish close to Christmas.

184. (Immaculate Conception) "Rejoice, Mary,…The Lord is with you…You are to conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus." (Luke 1:28-31) Remember when you first learned that you were pregnant. Tell your child the story of how you chose his or her name.

185. "I wish…to speak of the love which God lavishes upon us and which we in turn must share with others." (Pope Benedict XVI, On Christian Love) Of course we love our family, our friends, and those who like us. But can we also love the unlikable? Choose one person during this season to lavish love on who might not appear to deserve it. Your child will notice.

186. (Winter Solstice) Dec. 22 is the longest night of the year - the winter solstice. Long, dark nights can be frightening, especially to young children. Perhaps you've been lighting Advent candles leading up to Christmas. If not, you can still light a candle together tonight to disperse the darkness and remember that the Light of the World is returning.

187. As the year closes, is there anything you need to ask your family to forgive you for? Are there any relatives you need to forgive? It doesn't matter that you were right. Forgive anyway.

2007

188. (Epiphany) The traditional date for the arrival of the Three Kings is Jan. 6 which marks the 12th Day of Christmas. Make a cake. Wrap three coins in foil and hide them in the batter. Whoever gets the slice with the coins is King/Queen for a day and gets out of chores. Be wise but have fun too.

189. As joyous as we are at the birth or adoption of our child, eventually a time comes when we understand the prophesy that Simeon said to Mary, "And sorrow, like a sharp sword, will break your own heart." (Luke 2:34) Do you know a parent who needs consoling? Are you that parent today?

190. "It's not only a matter of what screen-based media promote, but what they prevent." (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) All of us like to veg out occasionally but too much passive entertainment robs children of the motivation to play outside, to be artistic, to create their own games and fun.

191. "Melanie, age 5, asked her Granny how old she was. Granny explained that she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie replied, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

192. (Ground Hog Day) Look for your shadow today. Shadows don’t have to always be physical. Sometimes it’s an undeveloped talent or the opposite of a strength you have. Perhaps you’re an extrovert. Try being quieter – or vice-versa. Parents need to develop all sides of their personality.

193. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” (Father Theodore Hesburgh) Don’t get so busy caring for your child that you forget the love between you that loved your child into being.

194. “We need to become intimate enough with our adult children to understand the questions they are asking, not the answers we think they need to hear.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Certainly parenting does not end once your child turns 18 or 21, but it should get more subtle.

195. “We make ourselves rich by making our wants few.” (Henry David Thoreau). Do you consider yourself richer or poorer than average? Today, model for your child the art of letting go of a want, even if it’s just a decision not to eat a dessert.

196. Few people in developed nations consider themselves really rich, but it’s all a matter of who we’re comparing ourselves to. Jesus was born in a stable. Spend some time rubbing shoulders with those who have less this weekend – perhaps take a walk in a poor neighborhood.

197. “His mother pondered all these things in her heart.” (Luke 2:51) You don’t have to be a mother to watch and ponder your child’s progress and set backs. Silently watch your child(ren) today and marvel at the ups & downs of their lives.

198. “Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.” (Ginny) Maybe that’s why the Church has Laetare Sunday. Google it if you don’t know what it means.

199. Have you ever tried a “tech fast”? For one day resolve not to use any technology – no TV, computer, cell phone, I-pod, etc. As with most fasts, these are not evil tools in themselves, but temporarily going without can sensitize you to the natural side of life and put you in solidarity with those who don’t have a choice. Invite your child to join you.

200. As our children get older, they start to turn the tables on us. They reflect back to us both the good qualities we modeled for them and the gruff words we said in anger. They teach us the ways of the modern world as we continue to try to teach them age old wisdom. It’s a two way street. What has your child taught you today?

201. On many days parenting is a joy, but on some days it certainly can be a cross. Let the cross have purpose by looking beyond it and believing that your child will overcome his or her difficulties.

202. Parenting is a full time job but it doesn't pay the bills. For many parents it's a difficult decision to decide whether or not to work outside the home. For help see, "To Work or Not to Work."

203. (Earth Day) Does your child have NDD (Nature Deficit Disorder)? Do something outside this weekend even if it's just taking a walk with your child. Notice what's growing around you.

204. Have books gone out of style? # 1 of 6. This is TV Turnoff week. But what to do instead? Reading is good but can get expensive if you buy all those wonderful books new. Visit your public library this weekend with your child.

205. Have books gone out of style? #2 of 6. How many books do you have in your house? (Have a bored child? Ask him/her to count them.) Check if any need to be returned to their owner and make this 'return a book week.' (Have a teen with a driver's license? What a worthy use of driving time.)

206. (Mother's Day) What did your mother teach you about the value of women? What is the most important "motherly" trait you'd like to instill in your child? Even if you only have sons they need to honor women and develop the nurturing side of their personality.

207. Have books gone out of style? #3 of 6 Teach your child the joy of reading by reading together. For toddlers it's nice cuddling time.

208. Have books gone out of style? #4 of 6 For older children who may be perfectly capable of reading to themselves, it still doesn't hurt to read a chapter a night together. It provides connecting time. Pause at the end. Maybe say a prayer. Leave time for daily concerns to be shared.

209. Have books gone out of style? #5 of 6 For families with young adults scattered around the globe, try a different kind of reading together - an on-line family book club in which everybody discusses a common book or movie on-line. Learn from each other. Can you read your son or daughter like a book?

210. Have books gone out of style? #6 of 6 Don't read anything today! Sound crazy? Impossible? Probably. As much as we value reading and books, sometimes we don't appreciate the gift of reading until we go without it. Pray for children who don't have books or who are blind today. Do something outdoors with you child today and "read" the signs of nature.

211. (Father's Day): What did your father teach you about the value of men? What is the most important "fatherly" trait you'd like to instill in your child? Even if you only have daughters they need to honor men and develop the confident side of their personality.

212. Parent's spend a lot of energy on their children, and so it should be. To avoid parent burnout, however, sometimes we need to be like a parent to ourselves. Take a break this week. Not the whole week; probably not even a whole day; but try to squeeze an hour or two out of the week to pamper yourself. Cry for help if you need it.

213. "Growing up can be like walking through a labyrinth; when you get to the center you say 'Oh yes! Now I know who I am and where I stand. I'm centered.' But we can't stay forever in the cocoon of the center. We must venture outwards again." (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Provide your child with quiet time to be centered, but balance that with social time and service to others.

214. "Dear God, I'm American. What are you?" (Robert, age 5) Sometimes we impose our limited notions of patriotism on God. It's fine to be proud of one's country, but help your children understand that God is bigger than any one nationality and loves all people, even those we love to hate.

215. Pregnancy #1 of 3 "The time came for Elizabeth to have her child, and she gave birth to a son; (Lk1:57) Elizabeth waited a long time to have a child. Do you know anyone who is anxiously hoping to have a child? God willing their time will come. But also God willing, may they find ways to give life to others if not from their own bodies, but from their hearts. Pray for them.

216. Pregnancy #2 of 3: "And when [Elizabeth's] neighbors and relations heard that the Lord had lavished on her his faithful love, they shared her joy." (Lk 1: 58) And thus John the Baptist was welcomed into our world. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Rejoice with them and remind the mother how beautiful she is, tired, nauseous, or not?

217. Pregnancy #3 of 3: Do you know anyone with an untimely pregnancy? Support them. If you don't know anyone directly you might want to help out at a crisis pregnancy center like Birthright (www.Birthright.org).

218. Curbing Undue Consumerism (Part 1) "There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less." (G.K. Chesterton) Does your child ever whine and plead for the latest toy, electronic gadget, or just more stuff? It's natural, but naturally you don't need to feed their every craving. "No" and "Not now" are not dirty words.

219. Curbing Undue Consumerism (Part 2) Start with yourself. As a parent are you able to say "No" to at least some luxuries? It's not bad to buy things (much of it is necessary), but try saying "No" to one luxury this week - just for practice.

220. Curbing Undue Consumerism (Part 3) One way to bring perspective to children's wants is to expose them to those who have less. Take a bike ride or walk through a neighborhood poorer than your own. Watch a movie describing life in a developing country. See Trophies for Tightwads and A Piece of the Pie for family activities.

221. Curbing Undue Consumerism (Part 4) One way to decrease wants is to decrease exposure to ads and commercials. Even watching family TV programs can trick the viewer into believing that the lifestyles portrayed are normative and that everyone has the items shown on screen.

222. Curbing Undue Consumerism (Part 5) "Blessed are the poor in spirit; the kingdom of Heaven is theirs." (Mt 5:3) Scriptures like this are seldom a motivator for children, but for Christians doesn't this under gird our faith? Christ never said it would be easy, but for true happiness less is more. It does take maturity, however, to recognize this.

223. September 9 is National Grandparents Day. You needn't buy a card or gift. Most grandparents would appreciate a call, visit, or homemade expression of affection more. This could be an occasion to link your child with history. Ask a grandparent to tell stories, maybe even slightly embarrassing stories of how you were raised.

224. When I was young my mother always wrote an endearing name on my lunch bag. Classmates would watch to see what new name she had for me each day. Why not start a tradition of sharing an affirming phrase (written or spoken) with your child each day.

225. "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." (Elizabeth Stone) Watch your child today. Not the babysitting kind of watching but watch with eyes of wonder for a moment. Ponder the marvel of this unique being for whom you spend your life.

226. "I was a stranger and you made me welcome." (Mt. 25:38) Who is the last stranger who visited your home? How would you rate your family's hospitality? -adapted from Family Memory Calendar, Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown

227. "They do not love who do not show their love." (William Shakespeare) The way we prove our love not only for our family but also for all human life is to ACT with love towards others - even those with whom we disagree. Respect your child even when disciplining him or her.

228. Parenting is sometimes like playing Cribbage or Poker. It's all about increasing your odds for success. Once you learn the standard best strategies then the game is even and much depends on luck. Using the best practices of parenting increases your odds of raising happy, healthy children but it doesn't guarantee they will turn out as you hoped. Free will, friends, and just plain good or bad luck can make a difference. Since you can't control everything, pray a lot for your child.

229. When your child makes a mistake, fails at something, or simply has some bad luck, teach him or her the skill of "recovery." This is more valuable in life than just being lucky. Recovery means you figure out how to make amends and what to do prevent the problem in the future.

230. Single parents need buddies more than lovers. When one loses a spouse's love, it can be tempting to rush to fill the void with another lover. Same sex friends for your own support and opposite sex companions and role models for your child are more important. If you're not a single parent, offer this help to someone who is.

231. (All Souls Day): "A voice is heard in Ramah, lamenting and weeping bitterly; it is Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted because they are no more." (Mt. 2:18) Have you ever "lost" a child through miscarriage, death, drugs, or distance? Extend a word of comfort to another parent.

232. Stepparents have to step up to an instant and complicated role. Some days you might be regarded as a "real" parent and other days as a wicked stepmother. Take the time to earn the name Mom or Dad. You can't hurry love.

233. "We share the pain of couples who struggle without success to conceive a child. We admire and encourage families who adopt a child [or] become foster parents" (Follow the way of Love). November is National Adoption month. Have you ever considered this way to give life?

234. (Day after Thanksgiving): Thanks have been given and leftovers may make today's meal easier. Let this weekend be a time for some extra family fun - some games, a family hike, going through old photo albums…

235. As Advent is about to begin, help your children enter into the spirit of waiting by pacing your Christmas preparations. Don't hurry Christmas. Remember you have the 12 Days of Christmas to celebrate. Wait for the birth.

236. Advent is about waiting and preparing. If you don’t already have an Advent wreath, get one and light one candle the first week; two candles the next, etc. As the candles increase, children see the gradual movement toward Christmas. Let the light teach your child about waiting.

237. If you have small children, the intensity of this time right before Christmas can be fun but also draining. When you feel stressed, keep repeating the mantra, “Whose Birthday is it anyway?” If you keep this in mind, what’s important and what isn’t will sort itself out. Actually this applies to all ages.

238. Dec. 21 is the Winter Solstice with the longest night of the year. Let it be a day of balance between meeting one's personal needs and those of others. Since our own family's needs are usually quite obvious, take a moment to balance it with listening for the needs of the world at large. Ask your child who he or she would like to pray for or give a gift to who is not a family member, friend, or classmate?

239. On the fourth day of Christmas, presents have probably all been opened (and hopefully still cherished) but Christmas is not over. Could your family still do a gift of “four calling birds”? Don’t know where to buy “calling birds”? Consider calling up a distant relative or taking a family hike to look for birds and listen.

2008

240. On the 11th Day of Christmas you may not be able to give your child 11 pipers piping, but you can give the gift of music. You say you’re not musical, ask your child to sing for you, buy a whistle or a kazoo, play a CD of background music during dinner, sing a silly song together.

241. For those in the heat of everyday parenting, remember that some day – when you’re in the empty nest stage – you will SO look forward to these children coming home. . . for a temporary visit.

242. (Martin Luther King weekend) Nurture the values of equality and respect at home. Does everyone contribute to household chores according to their ability? Are siblings called to task if there is nasty name calling? Do parents share leadership and authority? Is anybody treated like a slave?

243. Simplifying one’s life is not only about reducing expenditures but also about getting rid of clutter in order to pay attention to what’s really important. Is the stuff your work long hours to buy for your child worth the time stolen from your relationship?

244. February 29 is Leap Day. Custom has it that this is a day of role reversal. If your kids are old enough, have some fun with trading roles. The parents get to whine and the kids get to make rules about bedtime and what to eat. It may be crazy but it's only once every four years.

245. Most parents of young children kiss their kids goodnight. Continue this custom during the teen years by asking your teen to give you a good night kiss when returning from a night out. Not only does it assure you they are home safe, but helps you know what they've been drinking.

246. Have you talked to your children about who they can go to if they ever feel unsafe at sports practice, or other school or church activity? You don't want to unduly alarm your child lest he/she think danger lurks around every corner, but you can say, "If someone bullies you or frightens you, call me (or a specific adult that you both trust)."

247. “Not everything a child resists need be avoided. The challenge is to know when to compromise and when to hold fast.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Just because your child complains or pesters you to let him or her do something or buy something doesn’t mean you have to cave. Remember, you are the parent. Be strong.

248. Feb. 29: (Leap Day) Today is Leap Day. Custom has it that this is a day of role reversal. If your kids are old enough, have some fun with trading roles. The parents get to whine and the kids get to make rules about bedtime and what to eat. It may be crazy but it’s only once every four years.

249. Most parents of young children kiss their kids goodnight. Continue the custom during the teen years by asking your teen to give you a good night kiss when returning from a night out. Not only does it assure you they are home safe, but helps you know what they’ve been drinking.

250. Have you talked to your children about who they can go to if they ever feel unsafe at sports practice, or other school or church activity? You don’t want to unduly alarm your child lest he/she think danger lurks around every corner, but you can say, “If someone bullies you or frightens you, call me (or a specific adult that you both trust).”

251. God so loved us that he gave us his only Son. The gift was not pain-free, however, as we know from the crucifixion. When your child becomes a cross to you, remember Jesus words, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

252. DO fight in front of your kids. Not violent, screaming matches but let them see that you don’t always agree. Most of all, let them see how you eventually heal your arguments and forgive each other.

253. Parenting is most often about caring for your children, but sometimes we become parents to our parents. As the U.S. bishops say “We admire and encourage families who … care for an elderly or disabled relative in their homes.” (Follow the Way of Love) Pray for and support people you know who are parenting on both ends.

254. Doing some Spring cleaning? Ask your children to help you spot things that can be given away. It’s always easier to identify another person’s junk than it is to recognize your own. You don’t have to throw out the lawnmower or silverware but it might be fun to see what kids think you can do without.

255. The fourth week of April is National TV Turnoff Week. Talk to your kids this weekend about whether your family would be willing to find different kinds of entertainment for one week. You might even extend this to video games and anything on the computer that isn’t homework or work related. Sweeten the pot with some creative alternatives that involve the whole family.

256. Many parents carry around a lot of guilt for not being the perfect parent. True, you probably have made some mistakes and would do some things differently if you had it to do over again. Forgive yourself anyway. To get in the practice of forgiving, forgive your own parent or child for a mistake or disappointment.

257. “Jesus” and “God” are not dirty words. Mention Jesus in daily conversations with your children such as, “I wonder what Jesus would do in this situation?” or “Thank God we didn’t miss the bus.” As they grow older, Jesus will be more like a part of the family than a distant cousin.

258. (Mother’s Day) One of the worst days of my parenting career was a Mother’s day. The kids argued, were unruly, and barely acknowledged the day until prompted by their father. I survived and so did the kids. Be slow to take credit for the accomplishments of your children lest you also take the blame for their bad behavior.

259. Parenting is not a solo job even if you are separated or divorced from your spouse. “It’s worth paying attention to the experiences of older parents.” (Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference) Other parents, especially ones who have “been there” can give you support and advice. Don’t be too proud to consult.

260. (Memorial Day) One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed seven-year-old Alex staring at a large plaque in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags. Alex asked what it meant and the priest replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 11:00?"

261. May 30: “On the seventh day God rested.” (Genesis 2:3) With our fast-paced, busy lives it’s tempting to crowd the weekends with shopping and catch up on home repairs. That’s what Saturdays are for. Consider saving Sundays for worship and re-creating your spirits. Do something fun with your kids (other than the mall). Resist non-essential work this Sunday. Repeat, if you can.

262. A classic parental dilemma is when to protect or rescue a child and when not to. Certainly conscientious parents want to help their children succeed, but often letting a child experience the negative consequence of a bad decision helps him or her grow up. Better to be late for school than late for an important job interview. Resist the urge to smother and rescue when they are young.

263. (Father's Day) What does it mean to be a good father? Protection? Caring? Wisdom? Laying down your life for your child? Remember your own father. He was probably good at many things, weak or absent in others. Take the good and pass it on. Let go of the rest. "As ye judge, so will ye be judged."

264. (Summer begins) Creating a spiritual home is not limited to saying prayers and being nice. Consider creating a calm space, free of clutter in your home where you and your children can relax and imagine - no TV, no computer, just several comfortable chairs for people to talk or read. This used to be called a living room.

265. June 27: You are not your child. Your success or failure as a parent is not dependent or your child's successes or failures. When things go well for your child, be happy for him or her. When things don't go well offer your understanding and support.

266. July 4: Every country has its patriotic holidays and in the USA July 4 celebrates freedom. How FREE are you and your children? Can you enjoy each other's company without spending money? Can you have fun without depending on electricity? Explore free recreation this weekend. Sing and dance - or at least talk and walk.

267. Have you ever given your child a harsh punishment - and perhaps regretted it? It's tempting for parents to renege and cancel the punishment. This sets a bad precedent. Instead, offer your child a chance to redeem him/herself. Perhaps there is a major project you need help with that your child doesn't like to do (but it's not as bad as the punishment), or you could switch grounding or cell phone loss to a more convenient day, but make it longer. Let them choose their poison.

268. Stepparents: you can't replace your stepchild's biological parent but you can be a real parent. Real parents make mistakes (occasionally), are hated by their child (at times), and earn their honor slowly (over years). Be patient with yourself but step up to the plate when needed.

269. When parents find some thing amiss at home (mud tracked through the house, a broken lamp…) they almost instinctively call out, "Who did this?" It's not a question seeking information as much as seeking who to blame. Once the culprit is found, the primary question should be, "How can we keep this from happening again?"

270. "Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I'm not praying." (Eliott) Sometimes "religious" people make fun of those who say they don't go to church because they find God in a sunset or a mountain view. While nature may be a handy excuse for avoiding intentional prayer, try to see the sacred in the ordinary people and activities you encounter today. Be mindful of God's presence for the next 5 minutes.

271. As you've no doubt discovered, teens can be parent deaf. To break through, take a tip from the media and try talking in sound bytes. Decide ahead of time the core message, reduce it to a short sentence, look your teen in the eye, say it, and stop.

272. (Assumption) Are there any assumptions you have about your children such as, they will be good in sports, they will try hard in school, or they know I love them. Goals are good but assumptions are dangerous. Tell your children you love them in a creative way today.

273. So your kid's not listening to you. Humor helps. Try exaggerating your request to the point of silliness. Perhaps start a playful tradition of putting something in her shoe or down his back when your child is in a funk. (I used to hide carrots in odd places in one child's possessions just to bring a smile.)

274. Does your child know the basics of courtesy beyond "please" and "thank you"? Teach how to answer the phone appropriately, introduce an elder to a friend, shake hands with an adult. Role play it. These practices need to get into muscle memory so it comes naturally.

275. As our children move out of the home and into young adulthood, our style of parenting changes. Although they will always be our sons and daughters, there comes a time when we are no longer responsible for their relationship with God or morals. All we can do is hold them in prayer, let go, and let God.

276. The second Sunday in September is Grandparents day. Grandparents don't usually want gifts, they just like to be acknowledged and appreciated. Help your child show appreciation for the grandparent(s) this weekend. If your own grandparents are still alive, do the same. If not, tell them in prayer.

277. "Dear God, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways." (Dean, age 7) Looking both ways is not just a good traffic practice. Help your child see both sides of an argument or a controversial issue. It's a life skill that will help them get along with others who think differently from them.

278. Are you a techno-peasant? If your child knows a lot more about the internet than you do, it's time to upgrade your knowledge. Not only is it an opportunity to learn from the younger generation, it's important for you to know enough to protect them from the dangers of the internet.

279. It might sometimes feel awkward to talk with your child about potential sexual abuse. The "Bathing Suit Rule" can help. Tell your child that the parts of the body covered by a bathing suit are private and special. Instruct your child to tell you if anyone tries to touch them in these private parts.

280. There's a growing group of parents in our culture who frequently get mocked or put on a pedestal: stay-at-home Dads. For awhile my husband was the only father in our babysitting co-op. This is not going above and beyond the call of duty, it's simply responding to the unique needs of your family. Respect and support parents of all stripes. God knows it's not an easy job, no matter what your gender.

281. Having trouble getting a conversation started with your kids? Try the "Favorites Quiz." Ask your child to judge how well you know them. Try to guess their favorite book, movie, food, way to relax, teacher, musical group, toy, sports hero, scripture, etc.

282. You've probably heard of "active listening." Maybe you use this communication technique frequently. Regardless, try to "listen by speaking" today by looking for an opportunity to rephrase something of import your child says today to confirm that you really understand.

283. (Halloween) Parenting is a hard and serious business, but sometimes we conscientious parents need to loosen up. Amid the hectic search for costumes and treats, take time to enjoy this playful holiday with your younger kids. Yes, check their candy, but it's not a sin to eat something less than nutritious once a year.

284.Family time is great but many of the happiest families I know also make time for one on one time with each child. One Dad takes one of the kids out for breakfast on Saturday mornings. Another mom treats a different child each week to a walk in the woods. Other parents alternate the one on one time. If you have more than one child, give each one some alone time with you.

285. Does your family have a family password? Agree on a word that’s only you and trusted friends know. Teach your child not to go with anyone who doesn’t know the family password. Although you don’t want to instill undue fear in your kids, you also want to keep them safe.

286. (Day after Thanksgiving) The day after Thanksgiving has been named “Black Friday” by merchants since it’s the start of the Christmas shopping season. It’s also called “Buy Nothing Day” by those who are trying to reduce consumerism. Sure you’re going to buy presents some time but buy less, save yourself the stress of fighting crowds, spend the time playing with your kids today. That’s the most meaningful present you can give.

287. Although the best strategy for dealing with the TV is often to turn it off, parents can also use TV to teach. Watch a program with your child and talk back to the TV. “Hmmm, that commercial sure is trying to trick us?” Or, “I can’t believe that kid just back-talked to his mom. What do you think the parent should do?”

288. Dec. 5: (St. Nick’s) Tomorrow is the feast of St. Nicholas. Sure, hide a treat in your child’s shoe tonight. Generosity is the trademark of St. Nick. Perhaps you could remind your child that there are children in our world who still need shoes. As a family, consider secretly buying someone a pair of shoes who needs them.

289. Dec. 12: (Our Lady of Guadalupe) Even if you’re not Hispanic, this Marian feast has a message for all humanity. Mary appeared to Juan Diego in the form and garb of a Mexican woman. It reminds us that God often comes through people with whom we can identify. Ever have trouble getting a message across to your kids? Try tuning into their world, their needs.

290. Christmas is close but it’s not here yet. Although meeting the needs of the extended family sometimes means celebrating Christmas before, December 25, to get the full value of Advent, one must wait – expectantly if not patiently. Waiting is an important life skill and Advent is a good time to learn it.

291. (Day after Christmas) The day after Christmas can feel like a let down or a relief. Now that the hustle that too often accompanies the lead up to Christmas is over, pay attention to family bonding. Relax together today, play a game, tell stories of past Christmas’s and deceased relatives. Laugh and nap.

2009